The Long Walk, part 1: Heartburn

I get it.  On paper our announcement of a few months ago to take a “halftime break” from pastoral ministry at age 50 looks like a dumb decision.  Why leave a thriving church with all of its securities in one of America’s most desirable cities to go back to school to study counseling?  By every visible measure my work as a pastor is entering its prime and by God’s grace has been fruitful.  So, many have understandably asked: “Why leave?” 

 

There are many nuanced reasons.  But one of the main reasons for me personally is deeper than the eye can measure. And it’s wrapped up in the title of this new website/blog: “The Long Walk.” For going on 15 years now I’ve had the supreme privilege of preaching God’s Word week after week, but my weekly preparations for that endeavor has been – admittedly – a little weird.  No, a LOT weird.  I’m an easily distracted human at a desk.  And so from the beginning of my ministry I’ve taken my sermon preparations to the streets and parks and pathways of my places with verses and pen and paper in hand.  Trying to listen to what God says from His Word as it addresses our deepest human questions and callings and longings.  I’ve done so in the hope that I would hear well without the distraction and communicate His Gospel clearly. 

 

But from the outside I know I look like a mad man, walking and writing and inquiring and preaching to myself all over St. Louis and Austin – the two cities I’ve been privileged to serve.  Of late here in Austin, these almost daily long walks have taken me around the state capitol building, and so I’m pretty sure I’m under surveillance and on some homeland security list.

 

But I’m not just a weird pastor.  I think the pastoral calling is super weird even if done behind a desk.  Preaching is essentially a teaching and applying endeavor.  An attempt to bring God’s truth to help God’s people navigate life and sin and death.  And to that end, as Tolkein said, good preaching requires more than knowledge.  It also requires art.  Each week we take what we learn and try to paint it into a picture that draws the human heart into His truth.  And usually – for me at least – that is a labor of great love.  But sometimes we preachers (and I’m sure Christian bloggers too) encounter an uncomfortable and unhelpful distraction in the creative process.  We are called to be faithful to communicate God’s truth and lead God’s people to worship Him.   But often that calling is mixed with the prideful, distracting desire for our art to be well loved and to bring us worship instead of Him. 

 

I have wrestled with this distraction deeply over the years.  All those long walks away from the computer have not been able to completely eliminate that internal distraction for me.  But I long – deeply – to listen more carefully, learn more fully and love people to Jesus more graciously for the 2nd half of my life, hence the break. 

 

I’ve always been captivated by the account in Luke 24 of the two humans walking home to a town called Emmaus after spending the Passover in Jerusalem.  (I’ve chosen Fritz von Udhe’s painting of the scene for my primary website image here and Daniel Bonnell’s more contemporary version below for this first post.)

They are walking and processing all that they just witnessed there in the big city on the big weekend. How Jesus was crucified and now – three days later – there’s quite the buzz because His tomb was found empty that very morning.  It was the very first Easter.

 

As these two ordinary humans walk and talk, the resurrected Jesus comes up and interrupts their conversation (though they didn’t know it’s him yet).  And as they walk together now with Him, Jesus explains it all to them.  How the whole Bible tells the story of the way the world is, how God is working to fix it and how Jesus’ death and resurrection is the key that unlocks the answers to their deepest questions and longings.  Clearly captivated as the day grows long and they approach home, they invite Him into their home and break bread with Him.  And it is then, during that intimate communion around the table, that their eyes are opened and they recognize who He is.

 

Jesus would take leave after the supper (He had a big agenda that first Easter!), leaving these two ordinary humans to continue their conversation.  And how did they describe it all?  The walk, the talk, the supper?  Luke 24:32: “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?”  

 

Why are we leaving Austin?  Why am I going back to school to study counseling?  In part, because I want that heartburn.  Not that I haven’t had it as a pastor.  Quite the contrary, I’ve grown tremendously in my love for Christ.  But my hope and prayer is that taking a halftime break and leaning deeper into the long walk with Jesus, I will be able to share him less distractedly in the 2nd half.  I want more heartburn.  I want more of Christ. And maybe you want more of Him too?

 

If you do, I’d like to invite you on this long walk with me…and Jesus.  That’s the purpose of this website/blog.  To reflect on this next season of learning and listening and lingering with Jesus and to do that with you as he opens to us the Scriptures.  At times the walk will meander a bit, I’m sure.  There will be detours and potholes and rain on the way.  But the point is not some specific result or objective or destination.  More on that next week in part 2 of this introductory post.  The point is simply deeper communion with God.  

 

My hope is to post reflections weekly on this walk and send them out via social media and email.  If you’d like to join in, either friend or follow (I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram) or sign up for the email list on the link provided here.  I do hope you’ll join me.  I need fellow travelers.  And if you do, my prayer is that our hearts will burn afresh in Him.